Christmas thoughts...

AKA – my realisation that my blog is whatever I want it to be.

Greetings, intrepid reader.

As I was pondering sitting down in front of my laptop today, for the first time since my kids went on school holidays at the end of November, I had every intention of writing a charming (if I do say so myself) piece about commas and full stops and semi-colons.

Busy ruminating over how to start such a post, I was hanging washing – which is where some of my best ideas and thoughts come to me – and realised that this blog doesn’t have to be all writing, all editing, all the time. Writing books takes a long time, and sometimes I just want to blurt my thoughts haphazardly. Friends, when I tell you that that realisation was a game-changer for me, I’m not exaggerating.

Here’s the thing about me - I have a very extreme personality. In that, I mean that I’m either all-go, no-quit, 100% of the time, or I’m paralysed by my own fear of failure and completely stuck at 0%. There’s almost no in between when it comes to things I’d like to accomplish. You can see, I’m sure, how that lack of balance can become problematic.

Over the past year as I’ve begun to learn and understand these things about myself, it’s made managing these extremes much easier, but I still wouldn’t say I’m completely on top of them. Perhaps this is a topic I can delve into more at a later time, now that I’ve given myself permission! But the point of this long introduction was to explain that the true reason I’ve had a hard time putting finger to keys about writing or editing is because, just like everyone else, there’s more to me than those things, and I needed to realise that it’s okay for me to write about them. It is, after all, my blog and I can write what I want to.

So without further ado, here are some of my thoughts after the Christmas and New Year that was.

Every single year has its highs and lows, some more so for others, and some less. The holiday season seems to act either as a full stop on the year; a way to take a deep breath and reflect, then look forward to the fresh start a new year brings. Or it can act as a giant exclamation mark, highlighting past traumas and warning us to watch out for the inevitable Christmastime pitfalls.

For me, mercifully, this year came, although suddenly (where actually did December go?), with excitement and peace. I wonder if it’s going too far to say that this may have been the best Christmas that I can remember.

Here’s the thing. The first Christmas after I married my husband, the only memories I really have are this bone deep sense of exhaustion when we finally arrived home after being out all day. We’d been to three different Christmas celebrations in the one day, and we looked at each other and vowed we wouldn’t be doing that to our children, when we had them. There isn’t any joy in my memory of that day, and I think Christmas as a newlywed ought to be a joyful day! Instead, I remember this deep sense of obligation; the feeling of needing to keep everyone else happy. Some people had small children, of course we had to accommodate that! Some people were unwell, which I do not regret in the slightest, since we lost a very dear someone only a few months later. But my point is that we didn’t spend Christmas how we would’ve chosen, and that was a good lesson for the both of us, learned very early on.

When we became parents, we held true to what we’d promised each other. Christmas became about our children, and how we as a family chose to spend it. Were people upset by this? Undoubtedly, but becoming parents meant putting our family first, whether that was right or wrong. We had to establish those boundaries early, or they would never be respected.

Over the years, we’ve relaxed in some ways, but never in the idea that we wouldn't cart the children to-and-fro on Christmas Day. And we haven’t. And along the way, we’ve made some family traditions that mean the world to us and shared the day with those we chose to.

This year, I read a timely reminder that Christmas Day can be celebrated on any day – and that hit for me. It isn’t always about who we’re with on the 25th, but who we choose to share the entire season with. It helped me to put things into perspective when there are only so many hours in a day.

This year, we kept true to our time-honoured traditions, and we made new ones with new loved ones. We ate, we laughed, we had sombre moments of reflection, we played silly games and took Christmas swims. And I think I, for one, was reminded of the true meaning of Christmas to me and my family. I won’t tell you what it is; we all have our own reasons for the season, and I respect each and every person’s beliefs.

For me, I went to bed on Christmas night feeling wholly fulfilled, my cup so incredibly full and bursting with true joy. And although my memory isn’t the greatest at my ripe, young age of 22 (hehehe), I cannot remember a year before where I felt as at peace as this one.

But you know what? It doesn’t really matter anyway, because the only way is up, and I look forward to next year being even better.

Whether you celebrate or not, whether your year ended well, or especially if it ended badly, I want to take this moment to wish you a prosperous, joyful 2025.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and as always, thank you for being here.